Mass Appeal

Is it at all possible that Jay-Z hasn't met DJ Premier? No way, right?

Please Save This Child

Go here to save a person's life, for real.

J. Robbins, who's made or helped make some of the best rock records ever, has a baby boy named Cal with Infantile Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Insurance can't cover Cal's bills and the Robbins' need our help. So let's give it to them.

NO LCD

French dude, Surkin has a great mix up at the Institubes blizzog today. As much as I love the Nike+LCD jazzercizery, this is more what I'm looking for in my workout tape: zero warmup, zero cooldown, super duper hyphyhyphy because, let's face it, exercise for me is just a 30-minute series of motivational insults. "You don't deserve to hold that Power Bar, you lumpy sack of shit! Work it, scumbag!" etc. There's no actual working out, just attempts to humiliate myself into working out. So, I need happy house and shit like that, which Surkin provides graciously. Thanks, man.

No bad news today. All is well.

Wassup Suckers

I don't know about this "like you" shit, but 3-point-3 stars is most definitely not me. Yeah, Tulsa, Kids, maybe even Bully, I'm with you. Wassup Rockers, though, is Crash for cool kids. See for yourself because I'd really like someone to tell me how this movie isn't Larry Clark being total wanker hack. "We just came here to skate," and stuff. GOD! Larry, make a movie about saggy paunches and perverts, for once. Something from the heart. You've nothing left to say about children.

If you're determined to watch this movie, definitely rent Over The Edge, and let me know which you think is more poignant. Shit, rent Foxes! That movie is stoopid good. Or any of the following: Mi Vida Loca, Quinceanera, Mi Familia, Blood In, Blood Out. I don't know. Watch them all in one day while high or drunk, and maybe you'll remember enough parts of each for one epic film about kids in Los Angeles.

The thing about Rockers, not Rockers (<--awesome), is if it's Larry trying to be self-deprecating, commenting on white people's, and his own, laughable exoticization of brown people, it's not biting enough. If it's Larry being a hypocrite, then it's just annoying. Either way, wait for the Clint Eastwood part and tape your eyes down because they're likely to roll out of your skull. Michael Moore is more nuanced.

My point being, why can't someone just make a good movie about Latino skate culture in Los Angeles? Is there not a real story there? Larry seems to not think so, just a bunch of kooky rebels who face death daily and look at the world through big, sad brown eyes. BUT, they smile through it because they're from the ghetto and they don't care what we think. I call bullshit on you, Larry. A year too late, but I don't care what you think, either. The only thing Clark gets right is the fashion, but anyone can walk sub-Sunset and nail that. He ruminates on his young stars in the first part of the movie, when they're in said ghetto, but completely abandons their humanity when he takes them on a whirlwind tour of Beverly Hills. Hey America, did you know that rich, white people are obnoxious predators and insensitive assholes? I'll say! Clutching major pearls over here.

Tomato, Potato

Hmm…

No ice at the North Pole by 2040.

UN downgrades man's impact on the climate.

Anyway, my friend Brendan sent me an email today with the subject: "We fly high, no lie, you know this." The entire body of the email was: "BALLING!" It was, without a doubt, the best email I've gotten in 2006, particularly because it assures me that my life on the internet is not all that disconnected from life on the outside.

Speaking of being outside, if you ever need to live in your car, here's how to do it.

If/when the oil runs out and cataclysmic weather destroys all liveable dwellings, this post will be invaluable. Except for the balling part. That's just for me.