Dudes, I saw Uncle Phil for the second time since I moved here. You're probably saying, "It's Hollywood. Celebrities are everywhere." True. Except I live in Los Angeles, and the only other celebrities I've seen are the redheaded gal from Temptation Island tending bar and Judd Nelson on Melrose wearing Dockers (tucked into combat boots) asking people if they had his "doobitch." Unimpressive. Oh, I see that fat comedian all the time, too. But the first time I saw Phillip was in an interstate traffic jam three years ago, and this time was in a parking lot nowhere near Hollywood. Both times he was in his little Mercedes SUV. First time yelling at the "motherfucker" in front of him. Second, yelling at his dog. Shit is traumatic for me because I remember how hard he could be on Will, and that's where he was mentally both times. The breaking point. I mean, he just kept yelling at his dog to stay, but the dog was already on full stay mode in the backseat and the windows were up as hell. I don't want to judge, but what are the odds I catch guy on his two worst days? Just saying, if you're out there in Nowheresville thinking about coming to Hollywood and making it big, keep in mind that dudes like Uncle Phil are going to spit chewed up sushi in your face everyday because you ordered Anago instead of Unagi.
Sadly, the photo above was chosen by ac-tor James Marcell for the splash page on his website. You're better than that, Geoffrey!
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