The Four Horsemen of The Week

White Horse- Weird Al's new album, Straight Outta Lynwood is as good as you think it is bad, and the video…

… includes Judy "The Love Goddess, Fashion Saint, Princess of Panty Shields" Tenuta at her blazingest. Seriously, if you can tell the diff between her and Madonna, you've a keen eye, old boy.

Pale Horse- Gwyneth Paltrow on Access Hollywood: "I went to Royal Albert Hall… to see Jay-Z… Jay-Z's my best friend." "JAY-Z'S MY BEST FRIEND," says GWYNETH PALTROW. Dear Rap Bloggers, you can start liking Nas and Kelis now.

Black Horse- New Clipse Album Penciled In For December. Haha. How in the name of Ras Kass has someone not leaked HHNF by now? I will sell it on my front porch and send Pusha and Malice 10 points on every sale.

Red Horse- Obvious.

And to tie it all together in wonderfully poetic and pessimistic prose is an 18-page spread on Kurt Vonnegut in the new Stop Smiling.

Kurt on what gets him up in the morning:

Sunlight.

Kurt on very rich people:

They're psychopaths. They have no conscience. They were born without a conscience… They don't care what happens next… One thing that's really scary about them– and this would be true of Bush and Cheney– is that they don't give a shit what happens to them. You could count on a guy saving his own ass. These guys don't do it.

Kurt on government:

We have no opposition party. We have only one party, and that's winners. It's people with money, and so they pretend to fight and argue back and forth.

Kurt on Nixon:

I wish Nixon were president right now. I could at least talk to him.

Etc, etc.

People more erudite than myself might say that Vonnegut is kid's stuff. I don't like those people, and I think they are dumb.